Usually, when people talk about love they talk about love that is somehow conditional. Then again, some people say that that kind of love is not really love at all. That is more like infatuation.
The other type of love, then, is the unconditional love.
What is the difference?
Conditional Love
The conditional love that most people refer to when they talk about love, is somehow, like it says, conditional.
That means that when a person, or other object of love, meets certain conditions like certain shared values, certain behaviors, maybe the way they look or whatever, then we feel attracted to them and we think we are in love with them. As long as those conditions are distinctly met, we keep feeling that love.
But once something happens to those conditions, whatever it is, that feeling changes. Maybe we realize that the values are not exactly what we thought they were. Or the behavior we admired is somehow changed. Or we initially interpreted the behaviors in a different way. And then we find out that it was not what we thought it was. The conditions have changed somehow.
As a result, we fall out of love or it fades away or something like that.
Unconditional Love Is Forgiving
Unconditional love, on the other hand, is something that has no conditions. We love the other person or the puppy, or whatever, unconditionally.
It doesn’t matter if the other person, for example, does something really stupid or something that might offend us. We still love them.
Unconditional love is also tied to forgiveness. Meaning that whatever the other person does, basically, we forgive them.
Those are the main differences between conditional and unconditional love.
Self-Love
Then, there is self-love. It is said that we cannot give love to others unless we love ourselves first.
This self-love is not the same as selfishness, though. It is, among other things, about caring for yourself enough to accept all your failures and shortcomings.
Self-love should also be unconditional. Meaning that, yeah, we do stupid things. We all do. And still, we forgive ourselves for whatever stupidity we might have done.
I have written in my other blog posts about forgiveness and gratitude, and they realy apply to unconditional love and self-love.
Think about it. What would happen, how would your life be, if you really forgave yourself, let go all the guilt, all the shame, whatever there is, and just loved yourself?
And equally: forgive other people. We all make mistakes. Let it all go. How would your perspective of life change with that?
Instead of feeling hatred, anger, resentment, or anything similar, just let them go and replace them with love.
How would that change your life?
Words of Wisdom
In my book, Words of Wisdom, Chapter 15 is about love. And in this chapter also, there are several quotes from wise people. Here, I would like to give you one from Dr. David Hawkins:
What if we discontinued to think of love as an emotion? To me, that emotion of love really also refers to that conditional love.
What if love is an awareness? Experiencing love as an awareness means that we pay attention to all the good things around us. So, what if you viewed the world, life itself, through kindness, forgiveness, and love?
There’s a little thought for you to think about. 🥰
